There are things that men do that are inherently un-sexy.  Video games, scratching where it itches, and self-love are just a few examples.

Being attractive is all about appearing attractive.

From toe nails to eye lashes women are kicking ass and taking names with all that doesn’t add up to the quintessential, glamour-gorged idea of perfect.  A woman trying to compete with airbrush and Photoshop is like taking gold in the Special Olympics.  Best-case scenario?  When the smoke clears you’re still behind the 8 Ball.

Guys fawn over looks the way women do over status and money; we’re all shallow as hell.  Of course it gets deeper as time goes on (or at least it should) but early on this stuff is important.  I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 4 months now and I still haven’t heard her fart, I rest my case.

The following is the single greatest series of openers I ever used and they landed me more phone numbers and make outs than anything previous.  They were the Terminator of conversation starters with all other openers being only mere mortals in comparison.

Angelina, Brad, & Me.

Additional Truisms:

1. It’s all in the details.
2. So. Many. Kudos.
3. Benevolence is benevolence.

Picking out a child is tricky, especially when you’re doing so with an agenda.  That’s why a whole lot of browsing and a little introspection are necessary.  The first thing I noticed was that pedophilia must be a concern for these sites.  After a couple minutes of browsing without luck I was kicked off the site after receiving the message “You have already viewed the maximum number of children allowed per visit to our site.”  I found this both troubling and hilarious simultaneously.  As if the standard notion of child molesters wasn’t disturbing enough there’s apparently some extra defunct new breed whose type is “third world and impoverished.”  [..]

Let’s face it; being good with kids is a phenomenal skill for a guy to have. Even if your ladies’ lifelong desire is to remain as barren as the Salt Flats in July she’s going to find your ability to engage the little guy or gal charming as hell. Now if she actually wants a couple sex trophies of her own – or if she already has one or two – this’ll compound your deposit in her smitten bank exponentially.